so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My ATM looks so different sober.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
