I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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