you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
