This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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