Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
no you cant smoke seaweed
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize
