so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
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