And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
