Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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