Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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