thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
