Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize