if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
