THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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