On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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