That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize