I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
