i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
