i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
