I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
