How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize