i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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