a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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