I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
