toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
