there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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