thus making me awesome and them whores
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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