We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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