How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Can Purell be used as lube?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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