i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
