we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
