I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize