Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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