I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
