remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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