god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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