why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
