Whod you bang
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
