Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
