Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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