his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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