so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
