She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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