Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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