So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you mean i was at the winter classic?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
