My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Houston, we have a squirter
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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