If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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