just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
