no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
this just has baby written all over it
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
