So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize