i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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