so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
