If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize