Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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