stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize