You work out of a Hotel?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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