and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
