So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize