Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
