I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
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