but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize