heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
